I am a fan of the indoor smoking ban in Washington State, and also of the law that requires smokers to remain at least 25 feet away from entrances to buildings. Although, technically, I’m pretty sure the law only applies while they are actually in the process of smoking, otherwise, how could a smoker ever go inside anywhere? But I digress…

I need to figure out where and how I can complain about the enforcement of this law at the Seattle Airport. At any time of the day, you can go to the Arrivals level and see clearly marked lines drawn in black on the walls/windows where smoking is permitted on the covered sidewalk, and red lines with big “NO SMOKING” signs where it isn’t. And you can always find multiple smokers, actually leaning ON THE SIGNS as they fill the air with foul smelling smoke. The law was written so I don’t have to walk through a cloud of smoke as I exit the airport, or stand in a cloud of smoke as I wait for my ride to show up. It’s not a question of police presence, either. There are always multiple cops on foot walking around and yelling at drivers who have stopped their cars for a millisecond too long. And on the Departure level, where smoking isn’t allowed at all, the cops walk right past the smokers to yell at drivers who actually want to stop to let their passengers out, instead of just slowing to 5 mph and letting them jump from the moving car.

Is it too much to ask these guys to write a few tickets to the smoking area violators? They could be a source of additional revenue for the state. The cops have to be there anyway to enforce the “No waiting, stopping, or parking” policy at the airport, right? Especially now that they’ve closed the cell phone waiting lot and are trying to convince drivers to pay to park while they wait to pick up their friends and family. Huh? What’s that? You want me to pick you up at the airport at 5AM, and pay to wait for an extra hour because your plane was delayed? I’d rather pay for your cab ride, thank you. But I digress again.

My solution (which my wife won’t let me do) is simple. I want to carry a can of fart spray (you can get them at most joke shops) and spray it in the air around a smoker any time I can smell their smoke. I mean, what’s the difference? If anything, what they’re doing is worse because I’m just stinking up the place, while they’re stinking up the place AND potentially causing me cancer, emphysema, lung disease, etc. Last time I checked, there wasn’t any Surgeon General’s warning on fart spray.

Anyway, I’m not going to back down on this. I’m going to figure out who to call, and I’m going to track my progress here. Anyone got any ideas about to whom or how to complain to get this going?